Amazon Is Sending Random People Sex Toys And No-One Knows Why
It’s a crazy world we live in but it’s the best we have. To get the good, you have to put up with the bad, and while there’s a lot of bad for us to deal with, every now and then, something good comes along and lets us know “hey, it’s not all death and hate”.
It’s hard to know where this story stands, but if there were a gun to my head telling me to choose, I suppose it would be more on the loving side? People getting free things is nice, but then unwarranted sexual advances are famously untoward, to say the very least. Blurred lines?
Due to unforeseen circumstances, Amazon has started sending various people sex toys and the like apropos of nothing.
Amongst the people to receive these unwanted packages, students at University of Regina in Canada have been getting Amazon boxes through their door, which they opened to find the likes of fleshlights, dildos and more – alongside boring, functional things like kitchen scales and headphones.
If it was just students on the receiving end, you’d be forgiven for putting this down to a long-winded and expensive prank, but they’re not the only people getting weird, sexy presents for no reason.
Nikki, a woman in Pittsburgh, told the Daily Beast that she received a sex toy, along with a Bluetooth charger and some headphones. I mean, that is odd?
You’d have thought that taking this all the way to the top would have solved the issue, but somewhat hilariously, Amazon is stumped. They have less of a clue about what’s going on than I do, and I know fuck all about anything.
A source with the company told The Daily Beast that not only do they not know why random people are getting sent items, but they have no idea why a large percentage of them are sex toys. The “customers” receiving the items aren’t being sent shipping addresses or names from Amazon, so although the investigation continues, it’s fairly hard to look into.
There are a few theories floating around that go to partly explaining what’s going on; some people think that sellers on Amazon are buying their own products from dummy accounts, and then sending them to addresses that they’re picking out of a hat (figuratively) – that then allows them to leave a trusted review on their page and boost their search results on Amazon.
That said, Amazon have notified the relevant authorities that the items involved in the phantom sendings have very few reviews associated with them. So that sort of debunks that one?
Nikki went on to say that she spent weeks trying to get answers from Amazon, and even went to the police, thinking that she was being cyber-stalked (down to the provocative nature of unsolicited dildos) but they weren’t able to help. An Amazon worker later told a worried Nikki and an officer that they needed a subpoena to get private information about whoever was sending the packages.
Along with that, they couldn’t promise Nikki that packages would stop being sent to her, for the time being, at least.
I take back what I said about this being more on the loving side. I’ve just imagined me being sent sex toys to my own house – the place where I live – and I don’t like it. Not one bit.
Sort it out Amazon, and while you’re at it, introduce loyalty points like Sainsbury’s Nectar Points. I’d be a millionaire.
Images via Amazon, iStock